Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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