I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
