I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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