i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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