Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
