weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
