Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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