I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Randomize
