I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
