Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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