You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
