I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
