The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Randomize