Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
