I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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