Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
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