Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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