Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
