Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
