If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
