I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize