She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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