It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
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the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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