Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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