His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
