I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
