Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
