ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Randomize
