so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
i came on her dog
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
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