I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
