thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
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he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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