I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
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