I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize
