rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
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