and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I don't want my vagina anymore.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Randomize
