We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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