the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Randomize
