if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
we should paint friendship bongs
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
