Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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