My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
