I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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