I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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