my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
