it hurts more in the daytime
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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