Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
