Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
