we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
