bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
