we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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