he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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