they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
