So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
