We named our party play list daddy issues
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
is it fun? or sober?
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
