If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
