Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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