i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
