he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
