White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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