ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
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