Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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