quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
