He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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